Why Is It So Hard to Be Kind to Myself? An IFS Perspective

2 min read

Self-compassion is one of those ideas that sounds simple until we actually try to practice it.

Treat yourself with kindness.
Speak to yourself as you would a friend.
Be gentle with your mistakes.

Most of us understand the idea. Yet something inside resists it.

Sometimes quite strongly.

People can be incredibly compassionate towards others while being much harder on themselves. They understand a friend’s struggles, forgive a partner’s mistakes or offer patience to their children. But when it comes to their own pain, a very different voice appears.

A voice that criticizes, judges, pushes and demands more.

It can be tempting to see this critical voice as the problem. From an Internal Family Systems (IFS) perspective, though, it’s more helpful to become curious about it.